People came to the
burn unit all the time. I would awaken from the morphine
fog to see the faces of friends and family. Sometimes
they would simply sit by the bed and read while I slept.
Because of the risk of infection. you don't get touched
much when you're burned. This makes for feelings of
isolation that contribute to the emotional turmoil already
present. I remember vividly feeling loved and supported
by people visiting me. My banker, friends, musicians
from bands I knew, casual acquaintances, all made their
appearance and had their presence felt.
My walls were plastered with cards
from well-wishers. These were constant reminders that
people were thinking about me.
What to Say
People don't know what to say when something bad happens
to someone they know. The truth is, you don't need to
say anything special. Saying that you care, and want
the patient to feel better is enough. Being there is
what is important. I remember friends and family coming
from all over the country to my room. I thought they
were being supportive, when really they thought I was
going to die and wanted to see me one last time. This
injury gives people a chance to show their best side,
Lots of love can happen through a burn injury.
Friends and family took turns walking
me around the unit. I see a strong sense of humor in
a lot of the burn survivors I meet. Being able to laugh
at any part of this hideous injury gives you back some
personal power. In the burn unit you have so little
power over anything that's happening to you, it's very
important to realize the power you do have. Amazingly
there are choices in every situation, even the burn
unit, and yes, there are some really funny things that
happen there.
However, some things weren't so funny.
During my first few days, and under the influence of
large amounts of morphine, an insurance adjuster came
to take my statement. Don't ever let anyone take your
statement without your attorney present. In my hospital
records there were nursing notes about how I reported
Bruce Springsteen and the Beatles coming to my room.
That's how out of it I was. I barely remember the guy
coming to my room. It is really important for you and
your family or friends to protect your interests while
in the hospital. |
I found out it is best
not to speak with insurance company representatives
or lawyers you don't know until you have consulted with
a lawyer you do know.
I had a family member ask recently
if it wasn't easier to just work things out with the
insurance company without involving lawyers. It is not.
I believe you need a lawyer when things like this happen.
They protected me. I would not fool yourself into thinking
that you can save money or avoid hassles by working
out a deal with the insurance company without a lawyer.
A good friend of mine, who was a lawyer,
introduced me to the lawyers I selected. It's good to
have someone you trust to consult with in your choice
of a lawyer. A family lawyer, or a friend in my case,
may not have the expertise necessary to pursue a claim,
but know who to recommend. He knew I needed a lawyer
who was competent and trustworthy, and who communicated
well.
My lawyers made me comfortable, and
always made themselves available to answer my questions.
I spent lots of time with them. One thing I remember
well is that my lawyers made me feel in control of the
case. Nothing happened without my approval, and they
consulted me before doing anything of significance during
the case. This communication was the key to the relationship.
I even traveled to Chicago to watch them depose the
people from the company. You want a lawyer who is competent
and trustworthy, and who communicates well. It's certainly
ok to consult with a few before deciding which one to
hire.
I'm proud to be a lawyer, but there
are lawyers out there who are unscrupulous and will
solicit burn patients by showing up in their hospital
rooms uninvited making unreasonable promises that can't
be kept.
A final note: though in the hospital,
and before having hired a lawyer, I found it important
for family and friends to help preserve evidence from
the fire scene. In my case it was taking possession
of the acetone can and photographing the fire scene.
Lots of times people don't preserve evidence, and things
can get lost or damaged.
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